Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
