I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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