Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
