with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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