you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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