They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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