so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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