So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
