ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
