I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
