Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
