It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
