Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
