I think I am morally bankrupt
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize
