She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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