Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize