So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
