Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
