You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
