She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I think I just sharted jello shots
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