Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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