I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
