Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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