i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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