You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
