I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
