Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
