I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
