I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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