I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
