Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
