16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
