u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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