I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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