does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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