Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
