What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
