we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
