we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
