Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
