she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
