Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
How does one acquire holy water?
I love you. Go after that dick
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
