I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Randomize
