I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
