So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
