OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
