I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize