they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
