Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
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