i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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