I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
