Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
