KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
