i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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