How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
