also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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