No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize