and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
