im having a threesome with these popsicles
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
