New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
