While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
