Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
