what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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