so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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