so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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