I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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