The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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