therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
