I feel like I'm in dance class right now
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
