we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
