So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Randomize