i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
