wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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