so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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