I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize